Road trip tips

• 14 hours is a long ass time
• drinking two 5 hour energy's will not give you ten hours of energy
• it will however make you shake like a crack head for about 3
• when the speed limit reads 70, that means its ok to go 80 to 85ish
• mini vans weren't built to go more than 90 MPH
• dogs sweat
• drive+determination+5hr energy+energy pills will kick tired and common sense's ass any day
• gotta piss will slaughter em both
• the little 5hr energy shots make me burp and piss like I drank a 40 (do they still make those?)
• TomTom is a dumb dumb should HAVE got the Garmin
• TomTom would give me a ETA and I would try to roll back the time by speeding, fun game at 4 in the morning
• Midnight is the best time to leave
• Wear fresh contact lenses
• When driving down a dark road TomTom hollerin at you will scare the shit out of you and the dog
• Invest in a kennel stay for puppy
• Still no speeding ticket
• Take quick naps on the straight always, hitting the bumps will wake you in time and you will be refreshed
• When you start seein shit that's not there, like a bicycle rider in the middle of the road, pull over for more energy
• That last turn into the drive way is like seeing the pearly gates open for you (I assume)
• When its raining to hard to see, get behind a 18 wheeler, follow at a safe distance (duh)
• if you extend the trucker courtesy to the truck drivers they will have your back, blink safe to move over, blink blink thanks, blink blink blink popo
• 14 hours is a long ass muthafuckin time