Regret

I did things I would never do had feelings I never should of.  I was desperate and needy.  I wanted to prove myself to him, even though he wasn't worthy.  My imagination turned him into something he was not.  I still wanted him.  As if I didn't already know how to embarrass myself.  Eventually, my crazy outplace feelings faded but I'm still pissed at myself for devoting that much time and energy to someone who wasn't worth it